IMBALANCE…Am I maintaining a balanced perspective?

DO YOU HAVE A BALANCED PERSPECTIVE?
DO YOU HAVE A BALANCED PERSPECTIVE?

I’ve discovered that the greatest danger to a balanced perspective is perfectionism. You know what perfectionism is, right? It’s that little invisible cloud hovering above your head called “Never good enough”. It hides the sunshine and keeps the light from getting in. It rains on your parade and stifles your enthusiasm. Even when you earn a hard-won victory it’s negativity seems to overshadow the good things in your life.

PERFECTIONISM IS CAUSED BY EXTREMISM

Whenever I feel myself obsessing over perfectionism, I often hear words like, “Never! Always! Everything! Nothing!” As in…

  • I NEVER get it right!
  • He/She ALWAYS messes things up!
  • EVERYTHING is horrible right now!
  • NOTHING ever turns out good for me!

These are extreme words. Extremism is one of the causes of perfectionism. Extremism is “All-or-Nothing” thinking. Extremism looks at things from an unbalanced perspective. Such as, “If everything isn’t perfect, then nothing is going well.” Or, “If this doesn’t go right, then nothing else will either.” A little extreme, wouldn’t you agree?

These extreme kinds of thoughts matter. Proverbs says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Extreme thoughts lead to extreme emotions which cause extreme (unbalanced) perspectives.

PERFECTIONISM CAN LEAD TO ESCAPISM

What is escapism? Escapism is the desire to retreat into a fantasy world of stimulation: pornography, narcotics, alcoholism, sleeping too much, staring at the t.v., endless all-night video game playing, and gambling can all be forms of escapism.

Personally, I believe that perfectionism causes much of this. If I tell myself that I must succeed or I must not fail, then if I fail, it follows that I might just stop trying altogether, give up and back-peddle into a shadow world of sensory stimulation hoping to forget about my own imperfections.

Escapism is really just the desire to stop feeling pain. Failure is painful. Even the prospects of failure can be painful. So, to avoid facing that pain, people are often tempted to do anything to numb it, even indulging in things that are at worst, harmful to them, and at the very least, counter-productive to their goals and desires.

PERFECTIONISM IS CURED BY ESSENTIALISM

Greg McKeown, in his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, says that the answer to breaking through to the next level in our lives is the disciplined pursuit of less, but better.

Perfectionism can quite literally cause us to try to “be perfect” in so many areas of our lives that we experience “brain-fry”. Our emotional system gets fried and breaks down, in much the same way that a robot’s system shuts down when it’s wire-system gets overloaded.

Michael Hyatt, in his article The Paradigm Shift That Helped Me Defeat Perfectionism Once And For All, agrees:

“Perfect is the enemy of the good, but so is distraction. If you have too many irons in the fire, you’ll get burned out. It’s better to focus on what matters now and see it through. Then you can turn to the next thing.” – Michael Hyatt

He encourages us to narrow our focus in order to defeat the perfectionism trap. As you focus on “the essential”, you more easily maintain a balanced perspective; something each of us needs to stay healthy emotionally.

 

INFLUENCE…How am I impacting people around me?

Looking to increase your influence?

BRAD | KELLUM

INFLUENCE

“Each of us is surrounded by people who look to us, count on us, and depend on us to make a difference.” – Blaine Lee


It’s like breathing air. It’s the most personal and the most universal human experience. What am I talking about? Influence.

Every day we’re surrounded by forces trying to influence us. We breathe it in (Marketing, Media, TV, Radio, Friends, Books, Magazines, Tablets, Smartphones ), opening ourselves up to be influenced by others; and then we exhale it out (Parenting, Leading, Managing, Socializing), attempting to wield our own influence-powers. Push, pull. In, out. Give and take. We influence others and are influenced by others.

When measuring our own influence, I’ve found that most people fall into 1 of 3 categories:

1.  MANY PEOPLE UNDER-ESTIMATE THEIR INFLUENCE.

We see it in others. It glares at us.  We recognize influence in others, but do we see it in…

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INTELLECT…Am I challenging my mind?

LEADING THINKERS AND THINKING LEADERS
LEADING THINKERS AND THINKING LEADERS

Man cannot live by bread alone. He also needs some facts. Did you know your intellect craves facts like your body craves food? And just as there are all kinds of foods to choose from, there are all kinds of “facts” available for your consumption. But I’m wondering…

Has your mind been fed intellectual junk food? 

Remember the commercial ad campaign that made this tagline famous: “Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste”? I do and I believe it.

The life of a leader’s mind is important. So many skills converge to make leadership work, but the intellect is the source and head of that fountain. These days, I’m concerned that this fountain is in danger of drying up.

When was the last time you read Jesus? Shakespeare? Plato? Aristotle? Homer? Thoreau? Emerson? Whitman? Tolstoy? To name only a few… 

Barren. This is the word many critics would use to describe the intellectual life of the average American today. And what about our leaders? Are our leaders engaging their minds in ways that move beyond task-thinking or project-managing? Do our leader’s thoughts venture out in search of beauty or are they controlled merely by the grind of duty?

I’m talking about leading beyond behavior modification. We leaders are preached to about changing the culture where we work, ad nauseam. But I want to go deeper into the minds and hearts of those we lead, including myself. As leaders, we don’t just aim to change culture, we aim to change the thinking that creates the unwanted culture.

“The biggest puzzle is not solving and fixing problems, per se, it is fixing the thinking that causes the problems.” – Michael LeGault

We don’t just need more leader-doers, we need more thinking leaders; with the ability to use logic and reason to draw meaning out of the complexities of modern-day living. This is not a luxury! As leaders, we need better critical thinking skills to guide us and our followers through the turbulent waters of globalism and topsy-turvy economic times. Real consequences are attached to stupidity and poor thinking!

How can you and I become better thinkers?

1. Read

Read. Widely.  J. Oswald Sanders quipped, “Leaders are readers”. Take into your mind great literature, poetry, sacred scripture. Lessen the time you spend consuming t.v. and trash culture.

2. Reflect

Ask yourself questions about what you read and learn. Examine claims and counter-claims, concepts, opinions. Also ask yourself questions about what you’re experiencing in your life. Cull from them life-lessons.

 “He who learns but does not think, is lost. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.” – Confucius

3. Reason

“Leaders are so action-oriented and have so many responsibilities that they are often guilty of moving all the time and neglecting to stop and take time to think. Yet this is one of the most important things leaders can do. A minute of thought is worth more than an hour of talk.” – John Maxwell  

Now I need to go take my own advice!